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Cancer Moms.

February 21, 2012
In light of the shortage of Methotrexate….
I belong to a special group of women
My friends and I have an amazing bond.
We never wanted to be in this group,
Yet we are in, for life.
Maybe we have met, maybe we haven’t,
Yet our love for each other is boundless.
We know the pain the other one feels,
And we share our victories small or huge.
Words like chemo, IV, Zofran , bald heads
Are always parts of our conversations,
As well as roidrage, tears, and meltdowns…
We always know where the closest puke bucket is ,
We can hold it in one hand and if necessary,
Swallow the sandwich the other hand was holding.
We can drive to the hospital ,
Park in the dark parking garage
Make our way thru the halls of the hospital
And to the appropriate floor,
Settle in a room, turn the TV on,
Give instructions to the head nurse,
Silence loud beeping IV pumps,
Direct a wagon AND an IV pole
To the playroom without hitting anything
Make our way back to the correct room
And all this, mind you,
With our eyes closed at any given time.
We know how to draw blood from lines
Sticking out of little kids chests.
We can hold them down with one hand ,
While a nasogastric tube is inserted in their little nose,
And be on the phone with their dads at the same time.
We can live for days on hospital food,
And on maybe only one meal a day .
We know the names of up to 20 different drugs ,
Their purpose, dosage and time to be taken.
We are always on call, 24 hours a day,
Seven days a week.
We are used to not always looking our best,
Hard to do with only a few hours of sleep .
Make up, hair styling, skirts are words of the past.
We have become addicted to texting, hospital, clinic, home, wherever…
We talk sometimes at all hours of the night,
We know we can count on someone to be up.
Then for one of us, the world stops.
She has to walk away, broken.
This job is over.
The job is over, but the fight is on.
Remember, I said we were in this forever.
We are friends, sisters, temporary nurses,
We are each others rock, each others punching bag,
We listen, we vent, we cry, we laugh together.
We share our lives and our deaths
We share our pain and our victories.
We are strong, but not by choice,
Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose,
But never are we defeated.
We are not nurses
We are not doctors,
We are cancer moms…
By Mimi Avery, mother of Julian, forever 4
7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 30, 2017 4:02 pm

    I have just arrived here. Thank you for sharing your experience. How are you now?

  2. September 3, 2012 11:29 am

    Thank you so much for this true inspiration…..My mom is the reason I am here today..not because of the obvious but because of her not letting me give up throughout both my cancers!!

    I am a two time cancer survivor, my first cancer (Hodgkin’s lymphoma) was diagnosed when I was 15, and the second (stage 4 Thyroid Cancer) was diagnosed when I was 30. I know first hand the havoc this unkind disease can cause. I have written a children’s book about Cancer( The Stars Twinkle Brightly), can you tell me a way I can donate this to your cause/or causes that could benefit from the resource? I am eagar to get involved/contribute however I can… I am also interesting in posting your blog link to my author site at as many parents frequent this site, (you’ll find I have already posted a link to Layla’s Cause). Please contact me and let me know how we can make this work…

  3. Ann Olson Brown permalink
    February 23, 2012 9:17 pm

    (heh heh — wanted to see what the frownie face looked like).

    I’ll stop now.

  4. Ann Olson Brown permalink
    February 23, 2012 9:16 pm

    Wow that smiley face looks stupid. Sorry 😦

  5. Ann Olson Brown permalink
    February 23, 2012 9:16 pm

    Was thinking of you and wanted to stop by and say hi. You know I love that poem 🙂

    How are things? Totally over that whole leukemia thing, right? (DEEP sarcasm). It’s kind of the gift that keeps on giving (feeling kind of cliched tonight).

    But the bottom line really is what it didn’t take — our girls. I can live with that.

    I think of you all often.

    • February 28, 2012 1:15 am

      You know I am so done with leukemia. I actually am done, until Isa gets a fever then I am FREAKING… her sister can get a fever, but not Isa. This weeks she had fever of 38.9 and I seriously thought it was all going to go down the tubes again. But it didn’t!

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