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September 3, 2011

Tonight Isa had a fever. After complaining of a sore throat today, I am not that concerned. Anytime a child has a fever it is a cause for concern. But, the look on her face as we rode in the car. Getting the thermometer out. Having GG say, “wow if you’re taking her temperature again she must be really sick.” I responded with, I don’t think she is really sick, I just need to gather the data I need in case I have to tell anyone.

37.7 gave 160mg of Tylenol Spiked to 38.3 just afterward, then relented and went down to 38.1.

Once you live through something like treatment of your child for ALL you are a changed person. Oh, yeah, I think the psychs call it PTSD…

12 Comments leave one →
  1. September 13, 2011 9:26 am

    Just been told by my doctor that I have PTSD! We are still a month away from the end of treatment!!!!!! Need to hold it together just a little longer…then I can move on to the stress of NOT being on meds to keep cancer away…oh what fun we have in our lives!

    • September 13, 2011 2:02 pm

      no shit…. I was just using Googlediagnostics. Wow. Seriously, dropped a spoon that hit the floor with a loud crash and I thought I was going to have a heartattack. Will look into ways to deal with this at home during ped trx, and just after.

  2. Anonymous permalink
    September 9, 2011 3:33 pm

    Yes I do. Hannah has a bruise on her leg and I pushed it the other day and she yelled OUCH!! I said good . She said,”You like me to hurt” I said “No. I just want to make sure it’s getting better and if you yell ouch then I know how bad it is.” She told me I was a weirdo. LOL That’s ok . That twinge of panic doesn’t set in like it used to. I think we all will always be cautious. Even when they are old and grayer than us.

  3. Laura permalink
    September 5, 2011 8:01 pm

    Hey, I hope Isa is feeling better. I just want you to know, that it does get better.(The worry) It does take a long time. I still have moments when I worry and get a little scared. Every virus, every fever, every bruise. It always worries me, but it does get better. You are right. You are a changed person. I can honestly say, I know what you mean. Please Please Please, call me if you ever need to vent or just talk.

    • September 8, 2011 8:33 pm

      I believe you.. And often times, i am not even thinking about it until I sit to write! Always good to see you though, I don’t even have to say anything to you!!! As, in you know what it’s like.

  4. Ann Brown permalink
    September 4, 2011 10:25 pm

    Totally get you on the PTSD. Really suffering from it myself recently. Elke has had a series of spontaneous bloody noses (the gushing one in the car was especially lovely), and it’s kind of freaking me out. The problem is, having been through what we’ve been through, we see the world through an entirely different lens now. A bloody nose will never again be “just” a bloody nose (unless someone punched the kid in the face). A fever will never again be “just” a fever. Leg pains will never again be “just” growing pains. They were with my first two girls, but I will always catch my breath with Elke. And wonder. Once upon a time these things were “just” supposedly benign symptoms for our girls, and then, bam, we’re told they have cancer. It’s hard to get over something like that. Let me know if you figure out how.

    • September 4, 2011 11:00 pm

      Yeah! What she said. She had no complaints today. So FreakY… and leg pain forget about it. Hubs has a bad case too. I was just supplying the fever info… temps, times, and procedures. And he was fine, then he freaked out and said something to the effect of…I know what a fever could mean… Isa’s cancer was very very hard on all of us, but I think it might have been hardest on him.

      But I’d rather be suffering from PTSD any friggen day rather than suffering from grief.

      • Ann Brown permalink
        September 5, 2011 9:55 am

        Amen to that (your last comment).

        • September 5, 2011 3:03 pm

          And that is what keeps the PTSD going strong is that F’n possibility that niggles the back of the mind. If it were over it would be over, and that isn’t the outcome we’re looking for. So we live with the possibility.

  5. Quinns mama permalink
    September 3, 2011 10:31 pm

    Right there with ya. We are all sick here, again! Quinn made it thru four whole days of school before coming home with this nasty cold. She has now missed half of the school year already. I have a feeling we are all going to be getting every little virus. Her A.N.C. Still is on the low side of normal.

    I still check her for a fever way too much. I am always surprised at how easy it is to give tylenol now that we can give it. Let’s see grape Tylenol versus chemo, Quinn will take the grape sugary crap any day.

    I promised my ear thermomdor a reduced work schedule once Quinn was OT. But that darn PTSD keeps me from fulfilling my promise.

    • September 3, 2011 10:52 pm

      Thought of you yesterday. Checked in on your site, and thought about the beach. Still working on it.

      I’ve been pretty good about not pulling out the thermometer. For the past couple of months I’ve been using the check test. With all the fevers that we had in treatment, I can damn near pinpoint her temp to the tenth. When I pull out the equipment there is most definitely a problem. Anc okay I think here. Low normal. Platelets still below normal. Better shit, different day. Oh I ditched the cell phone, will get you a new number soon!

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