OOPS I did it again….
And I ain’t talking like Britney.
I went and read Cancer kid blogs, caringbridge and websites. I wish could blame it on someone else, but it was me clicking the links. Those of you who’ve been with me since the beginning know that I’ve followed some kids through their treatments, but in October/ NOvember of 2009, I sort of stopped. I had too. It hurts too much to read about what the other parents have to go through. That was about the time that a whole bunch of kids died. Jaymun, Tyler, Sammie…..And it was 30 years after my husband’s brother died from rhabdomyosarcoma.
One girl, Ellie, also had rhabdo. Her parents miss her I’m sure. Funny thing about the children, they continue to smile. Reading about all of these kids also makes me grateful for their stories. Especially when I think of my mother-in-law in 1979 losing her youngest son to this disease. We now have blogs and forums and websites with lots of information. My in-laws had none of that. They had to make their own way. Even though I feel nauseous when I read about the other families tragedies, what would it have been like to have no one, or so few that it felt like no one to talk about what a huge, huge, HUGE THING it is when your child dies. Thank God for the internet and the connections I’ve made. Having the other parents comment, make jokes, commiserate makes it so much easier.
When the docs told us that they thought Isa had relapsed, the first person I contacted was Quinn’s mama! Who else could I talk to about bone marrows, and platelets and feeling sick in the bottom of my stomach. Who else!
We’re coming to another big transition, off treatment, and as good as that sounds it comes with a whole bunch of other stuff. Long term effects, more hospital visits, heart damage, port removal, etc. I’ve kept up with cancer families and all of them have this post. This one that I am writing.
The holy cows of India batman we’re almost through this thing. Where is that other shoe? Is it gonna be with some more cancer, some late cognitive effects, infertility or maybe, just maybe there won’t be another shoe.
But, as Money has said, “It ain’t over till it’s over, and that ain’t the outcome we want.”
Thanks to all the children who had leukemia and participated in studies that helped us reach the treatment protocols. Honestly, we couldn’t have done it without you!