Dex for Christmas
Lovely. Dex for Christmas
Last week we missed the spinal tap because the snow fell early that morning. Then, like a smart and with-it cancer mom, I got the pill case to give Isa her nightly pills. Hmm, I think to myself, there isn’t any methotrexate here.
“Honey, she gets 5 and half right?”
Honey answers me, “Yes dear.”
I traipse off to find the chemo backstock in the yellow plastic bag that is clearly marked CHEMO…. danger… etc.
Back in the kitchen I lovingly hand Isa some yellow poison. Then not quite promptly enough, yell SHIT! followed by a couple of shit shit shits. Methotrexate is the same drug that is given during the spinal tap that we rescheduled to the following day. The luke kids don’t take both in the same week. Only oral MTX when there isn’t a spinal tap. Only Spinal MTX not oral MTX in the same week.
Unbelievably this is the first time that I have done this. Then I wonder, does this constitute an emergency? Do I or do I not call the pediatric hematologist on-call? More cussing. I call, apologize profusely for interrupting his life, and tell him that we had the spinal scheduled for the next day, and that I gave her the drugs and the office can’t be contacted before we have to leave. (It is a two hour drive to the hospital. The clinic doesn’t have an evening answering machine when it is closed.)
He says, “It happens, and we will just postpone the lumbar puncture until next week. I will let the clinic know what happened.”
More thanking and apologizing. Tuesday morning I called to reschedule the spinal tap again.
One week later, but different because we now we have five folks traveling, we picked up Brother at the airport for his holiday trip so he now has to go with us.
The tap is routine at this point, but it also represents the possibility for relapse. Every time we do one of these things I think of CFS relapse. (This of course would suck.) Also, I think of spinal cord damage. (Also sucky.) I think of morphine and versed and the reactions to those. (um sucky and sucky.) I also take the opportunity to do a little subliminal programing. If the mind is relaxed, I say, take advantage of it. I tell her quietly in her ear that she will be relaxed, that she is a strong and capable girl, that she will quit fighting with her sister, that she will clean up her room.
The nurses sometimes chat about business or make small talk. This time the nurses talked about hair. One had been to the salon and received a Brazilian Blow-out. Seriously, that sounds like something my husband would like. Click the link and see the photo. I laughed.
Don’t get me wrong I love, love, love a good conversation about hair, but it was just so random.
The incongruity of the comments, the seriousness of the procedure, but also the not serious and only routine nature of the procedure, brother watching it for the first time and the nurses making him sit down to avoid hitting the ground if he passes out. Sister in the next room with Papa picking the television channel. The large family of Amish just leaving the recovery room. The sort of crappy toys in the treasure chest…
Makes my head spin.
And now the dex…steroids again. Every month I complain about this, and I am grateful that she isn’t experiencing some of the other side effects of the drugs. There are lots that she could be having, but we just get a screamy, weepy, aggressive five-year-old. The stress shows on our faces. Two-years of cancer stress looks like this
Isa handles herself well. Her port accessions go well. She rarely complains of pain or dizziness or anything. Sometimes she wants an extra nap.
Thanks for your continued prayers and energy. Thanks for reading.