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Quick Update

June 29, 2010

Isa had lumbar puncture, and gets steroids.  She is getting mean and hungry! She has had a cough for 6 weeks, that the doc has not given her anything for. Both NP and Onc doc have said her lungs sound clear. She takes methotrexate every monday, 6-mercapataurine each night and steroids for 5 days out of every month.

And as I review some of the older posts…..

For  anyone who has read any of this blog, please understand that most of it was written VERY late at night and under extreme mental stress.   Some of the opinions mentioned in portions of past posts may no longer be valid, possibly only valid for the moment.

The title of the blog, is ISA, Leukemia, Life.   So this blog contains infomration about my daughter. about leukemia and about my life, essentially, it is my blog.  As an only child, i have reached out to the internet to  somewhat be my support system, my friend if you will. At one point Web Logs were considered Journals.

This is a blog about what being a parent of a child with cancer is like FOR ME. I bared my soul, so I would feel better. Writing helped me clarify and organize thoughts that had no other place to be.   Other parents likely have had different experiences from mine and my Caring Bridge account is full of them.  At times, that could mean that i need to vent, or to name call or scream or to cry.   I try to write  in such a way that people will be interested. Is it appropriate to stop loving someone because they aren’t loving enough, in your opinion.

Currently I have stopped writing for the moment because,   I have no internet at home, and can only use it periodically and in short bursts (which do  not lend themselves to writing for me) ( and usually  using it with two kids….remember one takes steroids.)

MY child has cancer. I feel bad. I wrote about it. I’m sorry .

11 Comments leave one →
  1. Mike permalink
    August 14, 2010 2:28 pm

    You mentioned this is your support system. Then good for you for using it. Say what is on your mind and your heart and those that care will fully, totally understand. The burden you carry is unimaginable. Thank you for your honesty and transparency.

  2. Deborah Bass permalink
    July 17, 2010 10:59 pm

    Don’t be sorry. Cancer is horrid and you have to have some place and some way to get it out. Sometimes your blog scared me, but I read it anyway. I needed (and still do) to know how Isa is and how you are. Cancer brings us together, and I found comfort in your words, whether they scared me or not. I needed to know what others were experiencing. We too are in LTM, and the posts (on caringbridge) are less frequent too. For us it LTM is more “normal” and requires less venting.

    • July 21, 2010 1:28 pm

      Thank you for your remarks. Scary is a good word. I am so glad that you read these rants. The sad thing is that the complaints about the blog came from inside our family. So I posted the apology, but in fact, each post came from such an emotional place, I couldn’t imagine writing them in any different way. Thanks for reading!

  3. Anonymous permalink
    July 7, 2010 9:58 pm

    Like the others, you don’t have to apologize for anything. Your blogs have been absolutely awesome. We all understood what you were saying. They were so sincere I felt like I was right there. Too bad, if someone doesn’t like them.

    • July 8, 2010 9:01 am

      Thanks. Found out that some of the posts were too clinical. Not enough about ISA. But other cancer parents is who I wrote this for. So. Not everyone got what they needed from some of my posts. But for me I would have liked more tech and had trouble finding it online. Oddly those who had problems are have been surprisingly absent throughout this entire blog. To each his own.

  4. quinn'smama permalink
    July 7, 2010 1:24 am

    You spoke from the heart. You spoke the truth. Enough said. Do not take back a word of it.

    • July 7, 2010 10:57 am

      Thanks! Wish I could be on here more documenting more of Long-term maintenance. Gotta get me some internet!!

  5. Ann Brown permalink
    July 5, 2010 9:22 pm

    For the life of me, I can’t imagine what you have ever written that you would need to apologize for. Seriously. You’re honest and genuine. No apologies necessary.

    I, for one, have always been entertained by your writing. And the nice thing about blogs is that no one forces anyone to read them. If someone doesn’t like it, they should stop reading. It’s as simple as that.

    Glad to hear from you. I hope that Isa’s cough goes away soon. Elke had something similar that lasted for at least 4 -6 weeks, left us all sleep-deprived with her incessant, choking (vomit-inducing) cough all night, every night, and the oncs were not impressed. Said lungs were clear….

    Try an antihistamine at night. It helped a little with Elke.

    • July 7, 2010 10:56 am

      Thanks. The cough is ridiculous and getting more sore. The steroids are on count-down. 9 more weeks of them. (one each month of course) and oddly it was a family member that said I’d written something offensive. But was never told what it was, just that it existed. Cancer makes people act weird.

  6. June 30, 2010 9:52 am

    You don’t have to apologize. Cancer is a horrible disease and effects not only those suffering, but their families as well. I for one, appreciate your honesty.

    Still praying for your sweet little girl.

  7. June 29, 2010 11:42 pm

    You shouldn’t be sorry about writing about what you’re feeling. Writing is a great outlet for emotions 🙂 Hope you and your family are doing well.

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