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Here We Go Again….

November 3, 2009

Doxorubicin, Vincristine and IT Methotrexate.

For those of you who are interested, I do believe these drugs have been covered elsewhere in this blog. Maybe not MTX… hell I can’t remember anymore.  Isa  did GREAT for a girl who did not want to go back to treatments.

Their flu policy is keeping any extraneous people out so Gg and Papa went grocery shopping while Isa and I went to the hospital. Our appointment started at 9:30,  we waited in the waiting room until after 10? Then had a very quick port accession. The screaming has stopped for these.

Actually none of these things were quick, but in my mind they all ran together and seemed quick. Isa & I just waited and did okay. It all went smoothly. We played a game of “Go Fish” and we played with the leapster together. Then she went back for her spinal tap.  These go well, but they still freak me out.

The medicine makes her moan and say, “I’m stuck,” even though she isn’t getting a needle. I imagine that the morphine makes her feel stuck like in the mud, like she can’t move and feels weird.  This is only a guess.  She leans over a pillow and I hold her. I tell her things like, I love you, You’re getting stronger everyday.  Today, however, I tried to use this semi-conscious state to my own devices…. “you go to bed easily, you follow directions well, you are nice to your sister…..”   I say when life gives you lemons…

She seemed quite calm and sedate, I was slightly concerned that she’d received too much Versed. We left the building at 1:40 to wait in the spot of sunshine that felt warm on our faces. It was a beautiful day. Isa insisted on walking which was nerve-wracking because she was still doped up. I was walking with my hands out in case she fell I hoped I could catch her.

Fours hours, but time that I got to spend with Isa.  As much as I hated going back to the hospital today, I am grateful that these treatments have given me more time with my daughter. Some parents have been using the hospital for the same reason, but their time with their children is shortening.  For every blog that I read where the children are not doing well, the parents say… enjoy your children. So, I am saying that today as well. Enjoy them.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. November 3, 2009 9:11 am

    Still praying for your sweet girl.

    Oh, and you are right about the Morphine. I had it for a kidney stone years ago. It does make you feel stuck in the mud and weird. It kills the pain, but somehow you still know you are in pain.

    • November 3, 2009 9:34 am

      I’ve never had morphine but even the other pain medicines I have tried made me feel like I was walking through water. She has said this every time she’s received it and I just understood yesterday.

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